


Atonement

by elwon



Series: JayDick Flash Fic [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Arkham (Video Games), Batman: Arkham Knight Genesis (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Detective Work, Dick needs a hug, Gen, arkham game verse, jaydick_flashfic: atonement
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-03 23:17:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17886989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elwon/pseuds/elwon
Summary: Dick searches for Jason year after year.Companion fic toThe Moon That Breaks the Night, but you don't need to have read that to read this.





	Atonement

Year One:

“Alfred, you receiving me?” Dick taps his ear comm. with his finger and gives the warehouse around him one last look. He’s sure he won’t pick up anything new, but he _needs_ to be thorough. He can’t afford any more mistakes, not on _this_ case. He couldn’t bear it if things don’t work out. 

“Loud and clear, Master Dick.” Alfred’s voice comes into his ear with perfect clarity, enough so that Dick can hear the faint strain of exhaustion in the old butler’s voice. The search for Jason is taking its toll on everyone. There’s no time to rest, not while the Joker has him and is doing who knows what to Dick’s... well, Dick’s not exactly sure _what_ Jason is to him right now, other than important.

“No luck here either, none of the dock warehouses have any sign of Jason at all.” Dick sighs heavily. “I found about 20 random batarangs though. I guess Bruce never picks up after himself, huh?”

“I’m afraid not.” Alfred sounds sheepish, probably blaming himself for Bruce’s habits. “One wonders where one went wrong with him as a child.” 

“I know you did your best with him, Alfred.” Dick says, kicking a stone in impotent frustration.

“As _you_ are doing right now, for Master Jason.” Alfred reassures him. “But the sun has already begun to rise. Come home, Master Dick.”

“I... Yeah. I’m on my way home.” Dick sighs again, signing off and feeling hopeless. The longer they go without finding Jason the less likely it is they’ll find him at all.

***

Year Two:

“Master Dick, please reconsider. It’s late. Come home and rest.” Alfred says, not quite pleading over the comm. line.

“Not yet, Alfred. I need to search this last house, and then I will.” Dick says, shaking off the weariness he feels. He has a lead from a guy who lives next to the old abandoned subway line that someone matching Robin’s description had been seen near here, and this is the last brownstone on the rundown and empty street. He’s searched the others already and found nothing at all.

“Are you sure it can’t wait?” Alfred says, and while his voice is bland over the line, Dick can tell he’s forcing it to be that way. “Master Jason won’t be going anywhere... He can wait one more day.”

“He’s not dead, Alfred! I don’t care what video the Joker sent us, or what Bruce thinks. He’s _not_ gone.” Dick says hotly, he doesn’t believe it, _won’t_ believe that Jason is gone, not until he sees his body right in front of him, and can feel it with his own two hands.

“Master Dick...” Alfred says sadly, probably about to try ‘talking sense’ into Dick once again.

“No.” Dick snaps, sick of having to argue this with both Bruce and Alfred. “I’m going to search this brownstone, and then I’m going back to Blüdhaven. I’ll see you next week.”

***

Year Three:

“No joy there either, Alfred.” Dick wipes away the mud from his chest and walks out of the water onto the tiniest strip of beach on Miagani Island. Two hours of searching the coastline for Jason has taken it out of him.

“No, I suppose there wasn’t.” Alfred says, and the comm. line bubbles with the slight amount of water in Dick’s ears.

“Please don’t.” Dick bites back a sigh, staring up at the barely visible moon through the clouds of the cold autumn night. 

“Master Dick?” Alfred says, and Dick can picture him blinking in the barest of confusion.

“Please don’t start with the whole ‘maybe it’s time to give up searching for Jason’ thing.” Dick spots his motorbike, and heads towards it. It’s getting late, and it’s time to head in to the centre of the island for his usual patrol.

“Master Dick.” Alfred sounds wistful? No, rueful, and Dick’s reminded that Alfred lost just as much as the rest of them.

“He’s not dead, Alfred.” Dick says, swinging his leg over his bike, and letting the biometrics scan him so he can turn the ignition without the vehicle’s defence mechanisms activating. “I can feel it.”

“...But if he _is_?” Alfred says, genuine curiosity colouring his tone.

“Then I want to bring him home.” Dick says, pulling on his helmet, and twisting the bike handles, letting it roar to life between his legs. “He shouldn’t be resting in whatever shallow grave they left him in, if they did that at all. He should be _at home_ , with us, resting peacefully.”

“Yes, in that case, I can see why you don’t want to stop.” Alfred responds, and Dick’s more relieved than he thought he’d be at Alfred finally understanding some of his reasons for Not Stopping. 

“But he’s not dead, Alfred.” Dick insists. “And I’m going to bring him home. I have to.”

There’s a long pause before Alfred speaks again. “You have nothing to atone for. I wish you’d believe me.”

“I should’ve been there. I should’ve... God, I don’t even _know_.” Dick trails off, focusing on taking the corner on the intersection coming up. 

“Master Jason was responsible for his own actions.” Alfred says carefully. “No matter how close the two of you were, you can’t take on the guilt of his loss.”

“I...” Dick breathes out hard, wanting to argue the point, but he knows that Alfred’s right. Dick wasn’t in Gotham when Jason went after the Joker. No matter how he feels about that, it doesn’t change what happened. “Is there room for one more in the Manor tonight, Alfred?” He probably shouldn’t be alone tonight, there’s something _raw_ inside him that he’s _nervous_ of.

“Would you like me to make up the bed in Master Jason’s room?” Alfred says, nothing but kindness and understanding.

“Yeah. Yeah, I think I would. _Thanks_ , Alfred.” Dick breathes a little easier. “I need to go. I can see a mugging coming up ahead.” Dick signs off and turns his attention to the criminal element on Gotham’s streets.

***

Year Four:

Dick spends the night trawling through the sewers, looking for signs of the Joker and any of his unfortunate victims. He finds plenty to catalogue, and send on to the GCPD at the end of the night, but not what he was looking for.

In the past year, Alfred hasn’t asked him to stop looking for Jason, either alive or dead; which is nice, but it leaves Dick feeling out of sorts, imagining all the worst case scenarios that he’s never allowed himself to even vaguely think of before. It’s not helped by how close Dick can see Tim and Barbara becoming. While he certainly doesn’t begrudge them their newfound closeness, either as themselves or as Batgirl and Robin, Dick feels like he’s slowly being edged out of the close knit group of Gotham vigilantes.

He knows it’s always been his choice to move to Blüdhaven, and that part of moving there was trying to outrun the memories that haunt him; but some part of him always thought there would still be space for him, even if he wasn’t in Gotham every night. He might be reading into things, but the longer he’s away the more he feels his place, and Jason’s too, is being filled by others.

He treads carefully in the rank sewage water, hoping that he’s not about to squash any passing rats. He spots what looks like a skull in the dim light of the furthest beam of his flashlight, and Dick pauses. He braces himself, because the graffiti decorating the walls is obviously tagged by the Joker’s gang. Repeated HA HA HA’s cover the walls, along with crude drawings of bright red jagged rictus grins. He steps closer, nudging the heavy white curve with his foot. He’s never been so relieved when it turns out not to be a skull, but an upturned porcelain bowl. 

“God, Jason...” Dick whispers fervently, despite being completely alone in the tunnel. “I really hope this isn’t where he kept you. I really, _really_ , hope it isn’t.”

He looks around the small lair and even without all the readings in his mask telling him that there’s nothing here, he knows this isn’t the place he’ll find Jason. In fact, he’s convinced that Jason’s never been here. It’s a relief, but he’s back to square one yet again. 

***

Year Five:

Dick’s heart is almost beating right out of his chest. He’s up high enough that the cloud of fear gas hasn’t reached him, but the sight of Bruce grappling up to a rooftop, the Arkham Knight in his grip is terrifying enough on its own. 

Watching Bruce succumb to the gas from the cloudburst is _awful_ , but seeing the same thing happen to the Arkham Knight is... Dick doesn’t even have the words. The two of them trade blows for what can only be a minute, but seems like a lifetime; and neither of them notice Dick swinging down to the rooftop beside them.

Bruce turns away to talk to Alfred on the comm. line and Dick takes his moment. He dashes in and hauls the Arkham Knight to his feet, a feat only accomplished by the fact the Arkham Knight is staggering to his feet anyway, and pulls him over to his grapple line. Dick hits the retract button and they rise to the next rooftop over, twenty feet up, and hidden by a thick balustrade. The Arkham Knight slumps down, curling up as much as he can, trying to protect his torso. It makes Dick’s heart break and he can only imagine what the Knight must be seeing to be reacting this way.

A heart stopping 185 seconds later, the Knight uncurls, takes in a deep breath, and then looks around him. He turns his faceplate to Dick and seems to stare at him for several heartbeats. Dick tries not to stare at his own reflection in the blue of that faceplate, and holds still, waiting for the Knight’s reaction.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in Blüdhaven?” The Knight growls out, the voice modulator giving his voice an extra deep rumble that Dick almost feels in his bones.

“That’s where Batman told me to go.” Dick says, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart. He doesn’t need to have a spike of fear right now, not with that gas hovering around below them.

“It was fucking stupid of you to stay.” The Knight says, rolling his shoulders and moving to stand up, when Dick reaches out and grabs his elbow. The Knight looks down wordlessly to the point where Dick’s holding him.

“Not as stupid as covering Gotham in that.” Dick snaps back. The Knight only inclines his head, not bothering with a comeback. It seems he’s not that committed to his plan after all.

“You found me faster than Batman did.” The Knight slowly pulls his arm away from Dick, not stepping back, and Dick feels hope for the second time this night.

“I didn’t stop looking for you, that’s why.” Dick says, taking a step closer, and The Knight lets him.

***

Year Six:

Dick creeps up on Jason, who’s currently sitting on the edge of a roof, his legs dangling over the side. He pounces, and can’t help but grin when Jason doesn’t even move an inch with Dick’s weight suddenly on him.

“Found you!” Dick swings around on Jason’s shoulders, so that he can drape himself over Jason’s lap, keeping one arm around the back of Jason’s neck.

“Yeah, well done, Dickie. Great job you did there.” Jason automatically moves one gloves hand to rest on Dick’s thighs but otherwise doesn’t move.

“I know!”Dick grins up at him, feeling smug for no reason whatsoever.

“Especially since I wasn’t hiding.” Jason continues, voice coming out bland due to the helmet’s modulator, and Dick knows that Jason’s most likely rolling his eyes right now.

“Shush.” Dick chides, smile getting wider as he relaxes in Jason’s lap. “I found you. That’s all that matters.”


End file.
